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THE COST OF FREEDOM

6/27/2020

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“I can’t help the way I am.”

“It’s purely chemical.”

“It’s the way I was raised.”

“It’s my family history.”

“It’s not my fault.”
 
 
We’re often asked the question, “When life hurts, where do you turn?”

It’s a good question, and it challenges us to learn to turn to Christ in the hard moments of life.

But I want to pose a slightly different question to you today.
​​

​“When life hurts, who do you blame?”


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THE TRUTH ABOUT INSECURITY

5/29/2020

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“We can never know who or what we are
until we know at least something
of what God is.” -A.W. Tozer

Our view of God is our lens for life. It affects everything: how we treat our sin, how we view our circumstances, how we handle our problems, how we determine our priorities, and most of all, what we think about ourselves. Now that we know the truth about God, it is imperative that we look at how the truth about Him should impact what we believe about ourselves.

By default, we tend to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. And when we have an elevated view of self, we can be guilty of placing ourselves over God which can be evidenced by the way that we determine what is true: what we think and feel, or what God says. This includes what we believe about ourselves.

Deep down inside, all of us struggle with self-worth. We tend to tell ourselves things such as…

I’m not valuable. I’m not enough. I’ve gone too far, failed too many times. There’s too much history. I can’t get back from this.

​Insecurity is not a new struggle. It has been going on for generations, and I would say it’s one that began way back in the Garden of Eden. And I would also say that it affects us more often than we’d like to think and goes deeper than we’d like to admit.
 

THE EVIDENCE OF INSECURITY

Some of us immediately recognize our insecurities. But I think there are some who may not realize they are wrestling with insecurity because it doesn’t always look like they expect it to look. So let’s pause for a moment to consider the ways insecurity can be revealed in our lives.

Insecurity shows itself when we are timid and shy and afraid to say what needs to be said in any given situation, because what if they don’t like it? Or they don’t like me for saying it?

Or it can show itself when we dominate the conversation with our opinions rather than letting others share, and if they do share, criticizing their opinions in an attempt to make them look inferior.
 
Insecurity shows itself when we throw ourselves at guy after guy after guy… hoping this one will be THE one that will finally make us feel loved, accepted, and valuable.

Or it can show itself in having too high of a standard in our relationships because we’re afraid to let anyone get too close and see the real us and it’s easier to push people away and blame them for not being good enough than it is take the risk that they might say the same of us.
 
Insecurity shows itself when, after a co-worker offers a simple suggestion to improve the way we approach our work, we isolate, feel sorry for ourselves, and tell others she snapped at us, was angry at us, and doesn’t like us.

Or it can show itself when we respond in anger to the person making the suggestion, lashing out at them for their perceived interference.
 
Insecurity shows itself when we isolate, put up walls, and stay away from anyone who might be able to break through and actually love us.

Or it can show itself when we surround ourselves with as many people as possible, as we show off in an attempt to be the center of attention and life of the party.
 
And so we learn that insecurity shows itself in two very different ways: the obvious one where we come across fearful and shy, with an under-inflated sense of worth, and the not so obvious one where we come across arrogant and overly confident, with an over-inflated sense of worth.

It can be difficult to imagine an overly confident person being insecure, but the fact is that deep down inside, the person who comes across the most inflated is often the most insecure.

Both of these reactions reveal a root that must be severed and replaced in our hearts, and that root is pride.

Why do we cower when the spotlight is on us?

Why do we attempt to control the conversation?

Why do we hide from people?

Why do we want attention?

​Because we care too much what other people think of us.
 

THE RESULT OF INSECURITY

How did we get here? Why do we want other people to like us, love us, accept us?

Sometimes it’s because of our family history. Sometimes it’s because of what other people have said to us and about us. Sometimes it’s our current circumstances that are overwhelming us. Sometimes it’s simply our own sinful choices that have led us to the conclusion that we are unworthy and unlovable.

These things culminate and leave us in pain because they injure our pride. We want to be more than this. We want to be better than this. And when we fail, or when others say we’ve failed, we take it too far and begin to dwell on our failures, our circumstances, the words of others, and our own emotions rather than the Truth of God’s Word.

In pain, we reach for relief. For some, relief is in the form of a romantic relationship. For others, it could be food. Sometimes we over-compensate and try to prove ourselves better than them, better than that, but the pressure is high and inevitably we fail again.

One of the most dangerous things we could ever do is base our worth on the opinions of others, because when we don’t feel validated by the people in our lives, we are easily overtaken by depression, anxiety, fear, and a desperation to find a way to get approval, love, and affection from them until we find ourselves doing things we never thought we would.

Doesn’t this fit the description of idolatry we talked about a few weeks ago? Anytime we need something from someone else, it reveals an idol. In this case, the idol is the need to be accepted by those around us.

When we place ourselves at the mercy of others, it’s only a matter of time before we are destroyed by them. When we carry insecurity with us, it’s obvious. And unfortunately, it can make us a target to people who, in turn, want something from us. At best, this can lead to codependent relationships. At worst, it leads to abusive relationships 
​

THE CURE FOR INSECURITY

Insecurity is devastating. And contrary to popular psychology, teaching, and even preaching, the solution is not in learning to love and accept yourself. 

The problem, as we have begun to see, is that we DO love ourselves – in many cases, we love ourselves too much. How do I know this? Because our love of self has led to needing the love of others – when we feel pain, when we feel alone, and when we feel a lack, we prove our love of self when we search for a solution in the people around us.

The problem is that when we go to the wrong place, when we take the wrong advice, we end up feeling worse instead of better. The truth is that no matter how hard we try to prove something, no matter how hard we try to manipulate, no matter how much we let the other person get their way, we never get what we want; we only feel worse instead of better. And no matter how much we attempt to talk ourselves up, tell ourselves how much we love ourselves, and ultimately, no matter how much we indulge ourselves, we never feel any better.

Our desire to love ourselves when we feel empty and alone leads us to seek it from others and ourselves rather than the only One who can truly love us, accept us, and treasure us: God.

We must find our validation, worth, and acceptance from God, not others.

When I make choices on how to act, what to say, and who to be based on the opinions of others, I reveal that I care more about other people than God. Instead, I must learn to act on what God says about me and let His opinion be all that matters. When I am confident of His love and acceptance, I can choose obedience to Him, even if means there are people in my life who may not understand, who may disregard or dismiss me, or may even attack me, for doing the right thing.

We cannot fill ourselves with ourselves. The more we try, the more isolated we become, the fewer friends we have, and the more alone we feel. No one wants to be around someone who is consumed with self, regardless if that expresses itself through the over-inflated side of pride, where the person is condescending, only talks about themselves, and is a know-it-all, or if it’s the under-inflated side of pride, where the person is depressed, discouraged, indulging in self-pity, and only looking for others to step in and tell them they’re wrong about themselves.

And we cannot fill ourselves with others, because they are people with sinful natures who will always resort to selfishness. They cannot offer the acceptance, approval, and unconditional love that we long for because they are searching for it themselves. We must learn to let people be people and God be God. When we do this, we can learn to live in the love of God and then share love we’ve received from Him with the people in our lives without strings, without expectations, and regardless of the response.  

Instead of finding our worth in others or in ourselves, we must surrender our pride, surrender our need for validation from the people in our lives, or from ourselves, and instead choose to find our identity in Christ, accepting God’s assessment of us.

BELIEVING GOD

If we really want to be secure, we must learn what God says about us, and we must choose to believe it, even when we don’t feel it. 
​

See what great love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God!
​And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1

When you are a child of God, there is nothing that can change that. Accept it and be certain of it! God does not change. You don’t have to perform to keep His love. God loves you because of who He is, not who you are, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Just accept it!
​
If we are going to live in the confidence of who we are in Christ, we must know who we are in Christ. And we will learn to know who we are in Christ as we spend time with Him, in prayer and in His word.

It is vital to spend time studying the Scriptures when it comes to overcoming insecurity. As we spend time in His word, God will reveal Himself to us. There are so many promises for us as His children! We must learn truth, dwell on the truth, and believe the truth. 

Truths such as...
​
  • God calls you His child and heir: 

​Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God--
John 1:12

So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child;
and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4:7

  • God calls you forgiven, healed, and redeemed:

​Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits--
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things 
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:2-5

In him we have redemption through his blood, 
the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with
the riches of God’s grace
Ephesians 1:7

 Therefore, there is now no condemnation 
​for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1

  • God calls you new:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:
The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:1

  • God calls you free:

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
John 8:36
​

  • God calls you chosen:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood,
a holy nation, God’s special possession,
that you may declare the praises of him who called you
out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:

  • God calls you friend:

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not
know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends,
for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
​–John 15:15

  • God calls you loved:

 BUT GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS OWN LOVE FOR US IN THIS:
WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US.
ROMANS 5:8
​
BUT BECAUSE OF HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US, GOD, WHO IS RICH IN MERCY,
MADE US ALIVE WITH CHRIST EVEN WHEN WE WERE DEAD IN TRANSGRESSIONS--
IT IS BY GRACE YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED.
EPHESIANS 2:4-5

When we’re committed to believing God over how we feel, then we can respond differently to the difficulties of life that threaten to undo us.

When I feel rejected, I can remember that God has accepted me, so I can forgive and show kindness to the ones who hurt me.

When I feel unlovable because I’ve failed yet again, I can remember that God has promised to forgive me and restore me because He loves me, so I can find the courage to repent of my sin and leave it behind me as I get back up and move forward.  

When I feel alone, I can remember that God has called me His child and promised never to leave me or forsake me, so I can look for ways to love others with the love I’ve been given.

When I feel like I’m not enough and I can’t do enough, I can remember that God has done the work and He is enough, so I can trust in His grace and take one step at a time as He helps me through.
​
And when the past comes back to haunt me, I can remember that God calls me new, clean, holy, pure, and righteous, so I can reject the guilt and remember that I’ve been forgiven and made clean.
 

THE FREEDOM OF BEING LOVED

When we learn to live in God’s love for and acceptance of us, we can stop being controlled by our need for acceptance from others. The result is that instead of trying to get something from our interactions from others (acceptance, approval, love), we can instead begin to give.

We can give love.

We can give approval.

We can give acceptance.

We can take the risk of love because we are loved.

When we belong to God, nothing and no one can destroy us, devalue us, or demean us.

Not because of who we are, but because of Whose we are.
​
Let’s live it out in humility, generosity, and love.


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PAIN, PLEASURE & PURPOSE

5/16/2020

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“Life is pain.” – The Princess Bride

We live in a world of instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it now. But there’s a danger in getting comfortable with (and then beginning to expect) quick fixes. Unfortunately, when things aren’t easy or quick, we can be prone toward anger and we can often be guilty of taking our anger out on those around us. Our discouragement and frustration usually end in giving up (failure to overcome our struggles) and giving in (isolating and indulging ourselves to deal with the failure).

Our reaction to hardship in life reveals the biggest idol we all struggle with: a pain- and problem-free life.

On the surface, this seems like it shouldn’t be an idol. It seems like a good thing. And we certainly don’t want to have a pain- and problem-FILLED life. So what’s the problem here?

The problem is that when we fail to surrender this desire for ease and comfort, we can be guilty of making decisions based on whether we believe it will increase our ease and comfort or not, rather than based on God’s goodness, love, and ability to provide for us regardless of our circumstances.

When we have a goal of living a pain- and problem-free life, we begin to do whatever it takes to get it – whatever the cost. 
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DEFINING MOMENTS

5/2/2020

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When I look back on my life and the moments that I believe shaped me into who I am today, I have to admit that those moments were some of the most painful experiences of my life. And yet, God used those times of suffering to make me into the person I am today.

We all have moments in life that define us, and unfortunately, they’re often related to suffering of some kind.

As much as we’d like to think that it’s the mountain top experiences that shape us, that’s rarely the case. Rather, God tends to use the valleys of our lives to grow us, to change us, and to make us into the image of Christ, and it’s those very moments that enable us to experience the joy of the mountain top.

The valley is dark, scary, and painful. Sometimes the suffering is a direct result of our own sinful choices. Sometimes it’s the result of the sinful choices of others. And sometimes it is simply the result of living in a fallen world. Regardless of the cause, the way we respond to resistance, pain, and difficulty reveals what we truly believe in the deepest part of us. In those moments, we are faced with some of the hardest questions we will ever face:

Do I really believe God is good?

Do I really believe God loves me?

Do I really believe God is in control?

Do I really believe God is all I need?
​

MAKING GOD ENOUGH

If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the saying, “You won’t know God is all you need until God is all you have.”

Unfortunately, it’s a common saying because, for the most part, it’s true. At least, the idea behind it is true. But the phrasing itself lends itself to the idea that you won’t really know if God is enough until you’ve lost everything. And while it’s true that you won’t know it by experience until that point, I’d say that you can know that God is enough before you lose everything. In fact, that’s actually the goal.

If we wait until we experience the loss of what we love to discover if God is enough, we will find that God is not enough. Instead, we must learn how to let God satisfy us in the here and now so that when the times of crisis come, we already know that He will be enough and He will carry us through. Otherwise, when we experience the pain and suffering that is inevitable in life, we will instead turn to ourselves or others to make us feel better, following the path of idolatry we talked about last week.

The fact of the matter is that what you believe in the light is what will be proven in the dark. If you want God to be enough for you then, you must make Him enough now.  
​

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THE REALITY OF IDOLATRY

4/25/2020

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We all like to talk about God being all that we need, but the sad reality is that while we are good at talking about God being all we need, many of us are living as though God is not all we need.

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to be happy, we also need this relationship.

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to be content, we also need to live in this particular neighborhood.  

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to show kindness to those around us, they need to show us respect back.

Yes, God is enough. But when hurt and disappointment enter my life, we really need to be able to distract from it by indulging in junk food, TV, shopping, or maybe even a substance.  

Yes, God is enough.

​But. 
​

BLIND SPOTS

I think one of the biggest blind spots many of us possess in life is idolatry. After all, we don’t often see people worshiping blocks of wood or statues of gold, so we find it easy to brush off idolatry as something from Biblical times that’s not really an issue anymore.

The result? At worst, we can be guilty of dismissing idolatry as a modern-day issue altogether. At best, we may find ourselves resorting to the Sunday-school teaching of associating idols with things such as video games, TV, and money. And while to a certain extent that can be true, the truth is that the most dangerous idols we worship are not physical objects. 
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THE DANGER OF HOPE

4/11/2020

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Hope is a funny thing. It can lead to excitement, joy, and peace. But hope can also lead to despair, discouragement, and defeat.

Hope fulfilled is the best thing in the world.

Hope disappointed is the worst thing in the world. 
​

DANGER AHEAD

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi,
he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah;
and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?
Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
-Matthew 16:13-15
​

​In Matthew 16 we observe an exchange between Jesus and the disciples in which Peter recognizes that Jesus is the Messiah. But just a few short verses later we learn that while Peter was right that Jesus was the Messiah, he did not fully understand the implications of this truth. 
​

From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples
that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands
of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law,
and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.
“Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!
You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind
the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
-Matthew 16:20-23

​Peter was a Jew. The Jewish people had long awaited a messiah to rescue them from their captivity. The problem was that they expected a physical king to relieve their physical circumstances and deliver them from their physical problems, rather than a spiritual King who would relieve their spiritual condition and deliver them from their spiritual destruction. 
​

THE RISK OF FALSE HOPE

​Because he was seeking a physical king with physical deliverance, Peter’s hope was inevitably disappointed, and his disillusionment quickly led to fear, despair, and destructive behavior to deal with his discouragement. 
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THE BEAUTY OF GOD'S LOVE

4/3/2020

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“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
​C. S. Lewis

​There are three core truths about God that are critical to our freedom. The first is that God is good. The second that God is loving. And finally, that God is in control. All three of these truths are intertwined, and without one the others fall short. If God is good, he must also, therefore, be loving. But if He is not in control, how can He really be good? And if He is not loving, He certainly cannot be good. 

Today I want to talk with you about the reality of God’s love.

I think for the most part we all have a general understanding of the fact that God is loving. We all know John 3:16, and we often tell each other “God loves you!” But the question I want to challenge you with today is this: How is the reality of God’s love impacting your daily living? 

While we may find ourselves familiar with the fact that God loves us, we may not necessarily have a full understanding of what that love looks like, which leads us to feeling, and subsequently living, as though God does not love us. The sad fact is that many of us struggle with looking at what’s happening in our lives and in our world and find ourselves wrestling with the question of God’s love. 
​

THE CHALLENGE OF LOVE

To fully grasp the love of God, we need to take a step back and redefine love. The first problem we encounter when it comes to God’s love is that we have a misconception of what love is, what it looks like, and how it acts.

Scripture talks about three primary types of love: romantic/sexual love, brotherly/friendship love, and sacrificial love. The love that God has for us is sacrificial love – which, by the way, is the same love that He ultimately calls all us to strive to have for each other.

Part of our problem in defining love is that we resort to feelings over actions. We struggle to apply the truth of whether or not God loves us simply based on how we feel, rather than evaluating His love based on what actions He has taken towards us. 
​

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LIVING LIKE GOD IS GOOD: THE FREEDOM OF FAITH

3/27/2020

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Yesterday we looked at  our struggle to believe that God is good. 
​To read the previous post, click here.

HOW DO WE GET BACK?

When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
And afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
 I will tell of all your deeds.
-Psalm 73:16-17, 21-28
​

STEP 1: THE RIGHT FOCus

Asaph doubted God’s goodness when he looked around him. He failed when he compared his life to the lives of others. He became discouraged when he let his emotions fuel his perspective. But when he lifted his eyes to God, he found hope.

When we go through times of pain and suffering, having the right focus is critical. 
​

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
-Isaiah 55:8


We need to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Not the bigger picture of our circumstances, but the bigger picture of God and who He has proven Himself to be in Scripture and in our own lives. 

Instead of focusing on our circumstances, which constantly change, we need to focus on God, who never changes. Has God been faithful before? He will be faithful again.

​God created us to glorify Him, and He gets glory through being good to us! Our problem is that we tend to forget that God knows more than we do, and so we question His method, forgetting that His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours.
​

STEP 2: THE RIGHT EXPECTATION

Instead of expecting God to make us happy, we need to expect God to make us holy – and then we will discover that joy is byproduct of holiness. Unfortunately for us, growth can only come through trials; that’s why Peter wrote that our suffering comes for a purpose:  


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LIVING LIKE GOD IS GOOD: THE STRUGGLE WE ALL FACE

3/27/2020

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Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Doubt. Accusations. Isolation.
​
How did we get here? 
​

the truth about god​

A. W. Tozer once said that what we believe about God is the most important thing about us.

Hannah Whitall Smith explained this idea further in her book, The Unselfishness of God, where she wrote:

“Everything in your spiritual life depends on the sort of God you worship.
Because the character of the worshiper will always be molded
by the character of what he worships: If it is a cruel and revengeful God,
the worshiper will be the same, but if it is a loving, tender, forgiving,
unselfish God, the worshiper will be transformed slowly,
wonderfully, into this likeness.”


What we believe about God is the cornerstone in the foundation of our lives. If we believe things that are not true about God, it will affect everything else we think and believe in life; however, when we believe the truth about God, it becomes a beautiful lens through which we can properly see ourselves and the world around us.

There are five major areas of concern when it comes to what we believe about God:  Is God really good?  Does God really love me? Is God really enough for me? Are God’s laws really that important – or even relevant? Is God really in control? 
​

HITTING THE RESET BUTTON

I think it’s safe to say that no one intentionally chooses to believe that God is not good, that He is unloving, that He’s not enough for us, that His commands are meaningless, and that He’s not really in control. However, many of us are living as though those things are true. Subtle lies have crept into our thinking and have begun to affect the way we live. Therefore it’s necessary for us to take a step back and look at the evidence in our lives, look at God’s word, and ask Him reveal what’s true about Him and about us.

Our starting point is God’s goodness. If God is not good, everything else in scripture crumbles to pieces. If God is not good, our lives are meaningless. If God is not good, we have no hope in life, or in death. Everything hinges on this one truth of God’s goodness.

Instead of assuming that you already know and believe this truth, I would caution you and challenge you to consider if it’s possible that you have unintentionally fallen into the belief that God isn’t really good – or maybe that He isn’t really good to you.

You may not be in outright rebellion against God, but is it possible you find yourself struggling with resentment in your prayers, or even have stopped praying altogether?

​You may not be openly arguing and accusing God, but is it possible you’re afraid of God – afraid of getting your hopes up, afraid He will hurt you if you ask for what you need and want?
 
You may not be quitting church or Christian fellowship, but is it possible you avoid certain people or topics because you find yourself envious of how God is working in their lives while you feel neglected by God?
 

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THE POWER OF DESIRE

3/20/2020

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What do you want your life to look like a year from now?

Sometimes when I ask someone what they want in life, they instead tell me what they don’t want.
​
               “I don’t want to be depressed.”
               “I don’t want to be fearful.”
               “I don’t want to be alone.”
               “I don’t want to be addicted.”
​
It’s often easier to identify what we don’t want than what we do want. Why is this? 
​

THE PROBLEM WITH CHANGE

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.
We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition
when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on
making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant
​by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
 – CS Lewis
​
What a shocking truth to discover.
 
How do we end up alone?
How do we end up addicted?
How do we end up unstable?
How do we end up in misery?
How do we end up in bondage?

Our desires are too weak.
 
We want to be healthy, but aren’t willing to change our diet and exercise.
We want a godly marriage, but aren’t willing to put in the effort.
We want to be at peace, but aren’t willing to take our thoughts captive.
We want to have good relationships, but aren’t willing to invest the time necessary.
We want to be respected, but aren’t willing to do the hard things.
​
We want to be free, but aren’t willing to do what it takes to experience freedom. 
​

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    bethany HARRIS

    In a word: passionate.
    About Jesus, church, ministry, music, reading, family, friends, and sometimes even
    iced skinny soy mochas. 

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