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Lessons From My Father: Surrendered Effort

1/15/2022

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​Last week I began a series on 5 lessons my father taught me about surrender in honor of his 5th anniversary in Heaven. Click here to go back and read the first post.

There’s an old song by Steven Curtis Chapman that has a verse that resonates with me:

       I never did like the word mediocre
       I never wanted it to be said of me, oh, no
       Just point me to the top and I'd go over, over
       Looking for the very best that could be

Perfectionist. Over-achiever. People pleaser. Yep, that’s me.

In my early 20s, God began to show me my tendency to be a perfectionist in my approach to life, revealing that I often associate my worth, growth, and status with Him based on my own ability to achieve certain things. Think “works based salvation.”

While I wasn’t raised on “works,” my own personality took over and I quickly began to impose certain things in my life, thinking that if I did those things, and if I did them well, then I’d be accepted and loved. I often felt that everything relied on me and my own ability, whether it was related to work, church, friends, family, and especially in my relationship with God.  

As a result, when I failed at a task, I’d struggle to get past it, often dwelling on it to a point of self-pity, and stalling out. Even when I thought I did everything “right,” the satisfaction was short lived as my mind would immediately fixate on whatever came next. I constantly told myself I needed to be more and do more.

In the moment, I didn’t see what I was doing for what it was, but looking back, I see it more and more clearly. And by the way, I still haven’t gotten this fully fixed in my own life! Unfortunately, it’s still something I struggle with, even ten years later. However, I am now more aware of my temptations and more equipped to overcome them, thanks in large part to my dad. 
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THE COST OF FREEDOM

6/27/2020

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“I can’t help the way I am.”

“It’s purely chemical.”

“It’s the way I was raised.”

“It’s my family history.”

“It’s not my fault.”
 

 
We’re often asked the question, “When life hurts, where do you turn?”

It’s a good question, and it challenges us to learn to turn to Christ in the hard moments of life.

But I want to pose a slightly different question to you today.
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​“When life hurts, who do you blame?”


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DEFINING MOMENTS

5/2/2020

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When I look back on my life and the moments that I believe shaped me into who I am today, I have to admit that those moments were some of the most painful experiences of my life. And yet, God used those times of suffering to make me into the person I am today.

We all have moments in life that define us, and unfortunately, they’re often related to suffering of some kind.

As much as we’d like to think that it’s the mountain top experiences that shape us, that’s rarely the case. Rather, God tends to use the valleys of our lives to grow us, to change us, and to make us into the image of Christ, and it’s those very moments that enable us to experience the joy of the mountain top.

The valley is dark, scary, and painful. Sometimes the suffering is a direct result of our own sinful choices. Sometimes it’s the result of the sinful choices of others. And sometimes it is simply the result of living in a fallen world. Regardless of the cause, the way we respond to resistance, pain, and difficulty reveals what we truly believe in the deepest part of us. In those moments, we are faced with some of the hardest questions we will ever face:

Do I really believe God is good?


Do I really believe God loves me?


Do I really believe God is in control?


Do I really believe God is all I need?
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MAKING GOD ENOUGH

If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the saying, “You won’t know God is all you need until God is all you have.”

Unfortunately, it’s a common saying because, for the most part, it’s true. At least, the idea behind it is true. But the phrasing itself lends itself to the idea that you won’t really know if God is enough until you’ve lost everything. And while it’s true that you won’t know it by experience until that point, I’d say that you can know that God is enough before you lose everything. In fact, that’s actually the goal.

If we wait until we experience the loss of what we love to discover if God is enough, we will find that God is not enough. Instead, we must learn how to let God satisfy us in the here and now so that when the times of crisis come, we already know that He will be enough and He will carry us through. Otherwise, when we experience the pain and suffering that is inevitable in life, we will instead turn to ourselves or others to make us feel better, following the path of idolatry we talked about last week.

The fact of the matter is that what you believe in the light is what will be proven in the dark. If you want God to be enough for you then, you must make Him enough now.  
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THE REALITY OF IDOLATRY

4/25/2020

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We all like to talk about God being all that we need, but the sad reality is that while we are good at talking about God being all we need, many of us are living as though God is not all we need.

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to be happy, we also need this relationship.

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to be content, we also need to live in this particular neighborhood.  

Yes, God is enough. But if we’re really going to show kindness to those around us, they need to show us respect back.

Yes, God is enough. But when hurt and disappointment enter my life, we really need to be able to distract from it by indulging in junk food, TV, shopping, or maybe even a substance.  

Yes, God is enough.

​But. 
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BLIND SPOTS

I think one of the biggest blind spots many of us possess in life is idolatry. After all, we don’t often see people worshiping blocks of wood or statues of gold, so we find it easy to brush off idolatry as something from Biblical times that’s not really an issue anymore.

The result? At worst, we can be guilty of dismissing idolatry as a modern-day issue altogether. At best, we may find ourselves resorting to the Sunday-school teaching of associating idols with things such as video games, TV, and money. And while to a certain extent that can be true, the truth is that the most dangerous idols we worship are not physical objects. 
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THE DANGER OF HOPE

4/11/2020

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Hope is a funny thing. It can lead to excitement, joy, and peace. But hope can also lead to despair, discouragement, and defeat.

Hope fulfilled is the best thing in the world.

Hope disappointed is the worst thing in the world. 
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DANGER AHEAD

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi,
he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah;
and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?
Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
-Matthew 16:13-15
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​In Matthew 16 we observe an exchange between Jesus and the disciples in which Peter recognizes that Jesus is the Messiah. But just a few short verses later we learn that while Peter was right that Jesus was the Messiah, he did not fully understand the implications of this truth. 
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From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples
that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands
of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law,
and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.
“Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!
You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind
the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
-Matthew 16:20-23

​Peter was a Jew. The Jewish people had long awaited a messiah to rescue them from their captivity. The problem was that they expected a physical king to relieve their physical circumstances and deliver them from their physical problems, rather than a spiritual King who would relieve their spiritual condition and deliver them from their spiritual destruction. 
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THE RISK OF FALSE HOPE

​Because he was seeking a physical king with physical deliverance, Peter’s hope was inevitably disappointed, and his disillusionment quickly led to fear, despair, and destructive behavior to deal with his discouragement. 
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THE BEAUTY OF GOD'S LOVE

4/3/2020

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“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
​C. S. Lewis

​There are three core truths about God that are critical to our freedom. The first is that God is good. The second that God is loving. And finally, that God is in control. All three of these truths are intertwined, and without one the others fall short. If God is good, he must also, therefore, be loving. But if He is not in control, how can He really be good? And if He is not loving, He certainly cannot be good. 

Today I want to talk with you about the reality of God’s love.

I think for the most part we all have a general understanding of the fact that God is loving. We all know John 3:16, and we often tell each other “God loves you!” But the question I want to challenge you with today is this: How is the reality of God’s love impacting your daily living? 

While we may find ourselves familiar with the fact that God loves us, we may not necessarily have a full understanding of what that love looks like, which leads us to feeling, and subsequently living, as though God does not love us. The sad fact is that many of us struggle with looking at what’s happening in our lives and in our world and find ourselves wrestling with the question of God’s love. 
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THE CHALLENGE OF LOVE

To fully grasp the love of God, we need to take a step back and redefine love. The first problem we encounter when it comes to God’s love is that we have a misconception of what love is, what it looks like, and how it acts.

Scripture talks about three primary types of love: romantic/sexual love, brotherly/friendship love, and sacrificial love. The love that God has for us is sacrificial love – which, by the way, is the same love that He ultimately calls all us to strive to have for each other.

Part of our problem in defining love is that we resort to feelings over actions. We struggle to apply the truth of whether or not God loves us simply based on how we feel, rather than evaluating His love based on what actions He has taken towards us. 
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LIVING LIKE GOD IS GOOD: THE FREEDOM OF FAITH

3/27/2020

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Yesterday we looked at  our struggle to believe that God is good. 
​To read the previous post, click here.

HOW DO WE GET BACK?

When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply
till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
And afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
 I will tell of all your deeds.
-Psalm 73:16-17, 21-28
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STEP 1: THE RIGHT FOCus

Asaph doubted God’s goodness when he looked around him. He failed when he compared his life to the lives of others. He became discouraged when he let his emotions fuel his perspective. But when he lifted his eyes to God, he found hope.

When we go through times of pain and suffering, having the right focus is critical. 
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“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
-Isaiah 55:8


We need to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Not the bigger picture of our circumstances, but the bigger picture of God and who He has proven Himself to be in Scripture and in our own lives. 

Instead of focusing on our circumstances, which constantly change, we need to focus on God, who never changes. Has God been faithful before? He will be faithful again.

​God created us to glorify Him, and He gets glory through being good to us! Our problem is that we tend to forget that God knows more than we do, and so we question His method, forgetting that His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours.
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STEP 2: THE RIGHT EXPECTATION

Instead of expecting God to make us happy, we need to expect God to make us holy – and then we will discover that joy is byproduct of holiness. Unfortunately for us, growth can only come through trials; that’s why Peter wrote that our suffering comes for a purpose:  


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THE POWER OF DESIRE

3/20/2020

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What do you want your life to look like a year from now?

Sometimes when I ask someone what they want in life, they instead tell me what they don’t want.
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               “I don’t want to be depressed.”
               “I don’t want to be fearful.”
               “I don’t want to be alone.”
               “I don’t want to be addicted.”
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It’s often easier to identify what we don’t want than what we do want. Why is this? 
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THE PROBLEM WITH CHANGE

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.
We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition
when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on
making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant
​by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
 – CS Lewis
​
What a shocking truth to discover.
 
How do we end up alone?
How do we end up addicted?
How do we end up unstable?
How do we end up in misery?
How do we end up in bondage?

Our desires are too weak.
 
We want to be healthy, but aren’t willing to change our diet and exercise.
We want a godly marriage, but aren’t willing to put in the effort.
We want to be at peace, but aren’t willing to take our thoughts captive.
We want to have good relationships, but aren’t willing to invest the time necessary.
We want to be respected, but aren’t willing to do the hard things.
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We want to be free, but aren’t willing to do what it takes to experience freedom. 
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CLAIMING THE TRUTH

3/14/2020

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​It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
-GALATIANS 5:1


​Now that we’ve talked about how we fall for lies, it’s time to take a look at what it takes to root those lies out of our lives and replace them with the truth. On the surface, it sounds easy – after all, it’s just 3 things. But these 3 things require a lot of time, prayer, and commitment to see them through.
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Let’s dig in: 
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STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR BONDAGE


The first step in experiencing change to identify what needs to be changed. If you’re not sure what yours is, start by asking God to show you areas in your life where you are not experiencing freedom. If you know the areas already, then it’s important to take some time to identify what the specific sins are that are keeping you in bondage.

It’s also helpful to point out that there are two types of sin. The first is a sin of commission. These are the things we are not supposed to do that we do. For example: lying, stealing, or misusing God’s name. The second is a sin of omission. These are the things that we ought to do but don’t. For example: tithing, evangelizing, or praying. 

​Once we recognize the sin that’s prevailing in our lives, we can then trace it to the root in our hearts: 

STEP 2: IDENTIFY THE LIE AT THE ROOT OF YOUR BONDAGe


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HOW TO BELIEVE ANYTHING

3/7/2020

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Did you know that if you say “green beans” very slowly it sounds like “gullible?”

Okay, so that’s not exactly true, even though it can be a little funny if someone falls for it. To some people it’s obviously false, but others just have to try to it to know for themselves. If they do, they quickly realize the trick and, though perhaps feeling a bit foolish, laugh along with no real harm done.
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If only deception in life were so easily detected and easily overcome. 


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    bethany HARRIS

    In a word: passionate.
    About Jesus, church, ministry, music, reading, family, friends, and sometimes even
    iced skinny soy mochas. 

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