DEFINING MOMENTS

When I look back on my life and the moments that I believe shaped me into who I am today, I have to admit that those moments were some of the most painful experiences of my life. And yet, God used those times of suffering to make me into the person I am today.

We all have moments in life that define us, and unfortunately, they’re often related to suffering of some kind.

As much as we’d like to think that it’s the mountain top experiences that shape us, that’s rarely the case. Rather, God tends to use the valleys of our lives to grow us, to change us, and to make us into the image of Christ, and it’s those very moments that enable us to experience the joy of the mountain top.

The valley is dark, scary, and painful. Sometimes the suffering is a direct result of our own sinful choices. Sometimes it’s the result of the sinful choices of others. And sometimes it is simply the result of living in a fallen world. Regardless of the cause, the way we respond to resistance, pain, and difficulty reveals what we truly believe in the deepest part of us. In those moments, we are faced with some of the hardest questions we will ever face:

Do I really believe God is good?

Do I really believe God loves me?

Do I really believe God is in control?

Do I really believe God is all I need?
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MAKING GOD ENOUGH

If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the saying, “You won’t know God is all you need until God is all you have.”

Unfortunately, it’s a common saying because, for the most part, it’s true. At least, the idea behind it is true. But the phrasing itself lends itself to the idea that you won’t really know if God is enough until you’ve lost everything. And while it’s true that you won’t know it by experience until that point, I’d say that you can know that God is enough before you lose everything. In fact, that’s actually the goal.

If we wait until we experience the loss of what we love to discover if God is enough, we will find that God is not enough. Instead, we must learn how to let God satisfy us in the here and now so that when the times of crisis come, we already know that He will be enough and He will carry us through. Otherwise, when we experience the pain and suffering that is inevitable in life, we will instead turn to ourselves or others to make us feel better, following the path of idolatry we talked about last week.

The fact of the matter is that what you believe in the light is what will be proven in the dark. If you want God to be enough for you then, you must make Him enough now.  
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THE CURE FOR IDOLATRY

​So how do we learn to believe the truth so that we can make God enough? What will it take for us to remove the idols in our hearts? There are three elements to the cure for idolatry that I think are vital if we really want to let God be enough for us 
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STEP 1: REPENT

If we have been worshiping idols, we must repent. How do we know if we’ve been worshiping idols? Check last week’s post. The short version is this: if we have sinned, we have worshiped an idol. As we talked about last time, all of our idols can be tied back to just one major idol: ourselves. When we worship ourselves, our actions are controlled by what we think, how we feel, and what we want in the moment, rather than on God, His goodness, His direction, and what is actually best for us according to His word.

What is repentance? Literally, repentance means to turn. Biblically, repentance is agreeing with God that you sinned against Him, asking Him to forgive you, and making a commitment to walk in obedience instead of going back to your sin.

But what does it mean practically? There are a few things that I think are important to understand when it comes to repentance.

First of all, when we repent, it cannot and should not be a repentance of what we’ve done, but who we are. I think many times we skirt an issue with God simply by compartmentalizing our actions and trying to draw a distinction between what we do and who we are. However, scripture reminds us that the reason we act the way we do is because of who we are.
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What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them,
but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.
MATTHEW 15:11

Guard your heart with all diligence,
for out of it flows the issues of life.
PROVERBS 4:23 
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As much as we’d like to believe that “that’s not who we really are,” and as much as we’d like to make excuses about “being better than that,” the sad truth is that it is, and we’re not. The first step in repentance is admitting that our hearts are darker than we thought and our sin runs deeper than we’d like to admit. Unfortunately, there cannot be true repentance without the brokenness that comes from seeing the reality of who we are that caused us to do what we did. 

The second common mistake we make in repentance is that we become too concerned with what we’re not supposed to do and miss what we are supposed to do. 
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You were taught, with regard to your former way of life,
to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
and to put on the new self, created to be like God
in true righteousness and holiness.
EPHESIANS 4:22-24
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The majority of times in scripture where we see a warning of what not to do, there is an accompanying command of what to do instead. Part of repentance is not just putting off the wrong thing, but putting on the right thing. Without replacing the wrong with the right, we run the risk of reverting back to the wrong – and if we do that, we can be sure it will be worse than when we were at it before.

This leads us to the final thing we need to understand about repentance. If we truly are repentant over our sin, and the reality of who we are, and if we’re ready to stop doing the wrong thing in order to start doing the right thing, we must have a plan. Temptation will come, and if you are not prepared with what to do in that moment of crisis, you will fail. Victory isn’t accidental.

When counseling someone dealing with temptation, this one little element of repentance is the one I focus on the most. It’s easy to give lip service on the other areas of concern, but you can’t fake a plan. It requires effort. It requires planning. It requires study. It requires accountability. And if we’re not truly ready to forsake our idol, then we will not come up with a plan of action for the temptation that will soon come. We’ll make excuses. We’ll ask other people to make a plan for us. We’ll avoid thinking about it and try to evade questions people ask us.

What should this plan of action look like? Ultimately, it’s a plan of what you will do, what you will say, where you will go, what you will tell yourself when your specific temptation comes. It varies by person and by struggle, but it always includes specific changes in thoughts and actions that you will take when you’re tempted to give into the sin you’ve repented of.

Brad Bigney has put together a resource for repenting of idols that I highly recommend. Click here to download a free worksheet designed to help you come up with a plan of action. 
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STEP 2: SURRENDER

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--
think about such things.
Philippians 4:6-8
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The word “anxious” in Philippians 4:6 carries with it the idea of caring excessively. Isn’t that exactly what we do when we want something? Instead of giving into the temptation to care too much over our desires, we’re called to surrender them to God, and through this surrender, we’re promised peace.

If you remember, last time we talked about the process of manipulation from James 4. The first step was “desire,” quickly followed by “need,” which is where things quickly got out of control. When we need something we become obsessed with it, and we justify whatever actions we must take to get what we want so that our needs are met. If we’re truly going to repent of our idols, we must stop the progression of manipulation by surrendering our desires to God instead of fixating on them and magnifying them until they become needs.

Now this is very important – I want you to know that it’s okay to have desires. It’s okay to have longings. It’s okay to want something more. It’s what we do with those desires that is so important. If we demand them, we will suffer. But if we surrender them, we will prosper with peace, joy, and contentment, regardless of the outcome.

So what does surrender look like? Look back for a moment at Philippians 4. There’s a formula of surrender in those verses that is critical to learning how to keep our desires in check.
 
If you’ll notice, this passage is an example of what we talked about a few minutes ago regarding the put off / put on principle. The first instruction is something not to do (be anxious) and it’s quickly followed by what to do instead. Instead of being anxious, we’re commanded to pray about everything. But there’s something very important about the praying we’re called to – it’s prayer with thanksgiving.

Prayer itself may not be a struggle when we have a desire. In fact, many of us spend time praying about our desires. The question is are we praying with thanksgiving, surrendering those desires, or are we complaining to God, demanding from God, and placing expectations on God regarding our desires?

Paul tells us to pray with thanksgiving, and this should be specific to our anxieties. What does this look like?

For someone who is wrestling with a desire to be treated fairly, it might sound like this: “Father, I’m hurting. Life doesn’t feel fair. People are treating me badly, and I’m hurt. I want to be respected. I want to be treated kindly. But Lord, I know that you also suffered injustice and you promised to help me respond in kindness even when I’m mistreated. Thank you for your grace to follow in your steps. Thank you for loving me and accepting me even when others don’t. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone. Thank you for the people who do treat me kindly, and help me to focus on their love instead of what the others are saying or doing.”

For the one struggling in regard to finances, it looks like thanking God for his promise of provision and grace to get through hard times. For the one who desires a relationship because they are overwhelmed with loneliness, it looks like thanking God for being close to the brokenhearted and for His promise to be with us always. And for the one who desires relief simply because life is hard, it looks like thanking God that He knows what we’re going through, He promises to be with us, and that He is good and nothing happens that is not for our own growth and good. 

Praying with thanksgiving about our desires changes our perspective from us to God. Instead of seeing what we’re missing, we see what we have: God.  The beautiful result of this shift in perspective is that it leads us to let God be in control because He is good and He loves us, which then allows us to experience His supernatural peace which protects both our hearts (emotions) and minds (thoughts).

That brings us to the final step to our surrender: taking our thoughts captive. If we’ve received the peace of God through surrender, we must then let it affect the way we think. We must learn to dwell on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. This is the natural result of praying with thanksgiving. You can’t pray with thanksgiving and not think about these things, and you can’t think of these things if you haven’t prayed with thanksgiving.

When we struggle with desires, we must surrender them in prayer, reminding ourselves of who God is and how He works in our lives, and then we must take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). If it doesn’t fit the list, it has to go! And if we find ourselves struggling with what we’re dwelling on about our desires, we simply must go back to praying with thanksgiving.

This is how we reach the point of being able to be obedient to Him even when we’re disappointed.

If I surrender my desire for a particular job and I don’t get it, I can still worship and honor God.

If I surrender my desire for good health and I get a bad diagnosis, I can still worship and honor God.

If I surrender my desire for a relationship and I lose the relationship, I can still worship and honor God.

And when I’ve surrendered my desires and God does fulfill them, I can still worship God – because now I see them as gifts out of His love for me instead of things I took for myself, demanded for myself, or manipulated for myself.

In order to surrender my desires to God, I must believe that God is good. I must believe that God loves me. I must believe that He is in control. I must believe that He wants what is best for me. And I must believe that He is enough for me.

This surrender is critical because it proves that we love God more than His gifts, and this surrender is critical because it proves that we want to love and worship God more than we love and worship ourselves. 
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Ultimately, the truth is that when you get to where you don’t need it, God can trust you with it. Does this mean God will give me what I want if I check this box of surrender off? Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ve learned that when I don’t need it, then I’m okay either way. 

STEP 3: MAKE GOD ENOUGH

So we’ve surrendered. Now what? This is where the rubber meets the road.

What’s true in the light is true in the dark. Therefore, if we want Jesus to be enough for us in the future, we need Him to be enough for us now

In order to believe that God is enough we need to dwell on the truth about God instead of our fear of our circumstances and the desires that are waging war within us. We need to maximize God and minimize ourselves, and we do that by dwelling on the promises of God.

I’ve learned that when I believe the truth about God, I can believe the truth about everything else. Instead of looking at God through the lens of myself, my desires, my circumstances, I can flip it around and begin to see myself, my desires, and my circumstances in light of who God is.
If you want to make Jesus enough, start by spending time with Him. Read His word. Pray. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Dwell on His promises. Let Him prove Himself to be all that you need.

Is God good?

Does God love you?

Does God want what’s best for you?

Is He able to do what is best for you?

Rest in those truths and be amazed to discover that regardless of your circumstances, He is enough.

This is where that plan of action is so important. Part of making Jesus enough is planning ahead of what you will do when temptation strikes. How will you make Jesus enough for you when you lose your job? How will you make Jesus enough for you when you feel lonely? How will you make Jesus enough for you when you get bad news? An effective plan of action will include a focus on an attribute of God, a promise of God, and a right action to take based on those truths.

So when I feel lonely, I will remember that God loves me, and He promises to be with me. Therefore, instead of throwing myself at others to get attention and acceptance, I will remember that God loves me and His love is enough, so I will look for ways to give others attention instead of taking it for myself.

If I lose my job, I will remember that God is in control, and He promises to provide for my every need. Therefore, instead of giving in to fear, anxiety, anger, and discouragement, I will choose to honor God in my reactions by trusting that He has a purpose by looking for new work, being faithful to my current responsibilities, and by taking advantage of new opportunities to bless others that I may not have had before, and I will talk openly of God’s care as He provides for my needs in the waiting.

​And when I have a bad day and feel like I deserve comfort in the form of self-indulgence, I will remember that God is good and He promised to give me the grace to make right choices even when it’s hard. Therefore, instead of sitting down in front the TV and drowning my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream, I will spend some time with Him to adjust my perspective and continue to be disciplined in my choices, such as choosing to exercise, eat healthy meals, read an encouraging book, or some other disciplined activity that helps me stay obedient and not self-indulgent.
 

DEFINING MOMENTS

“When you believe He’s all you need that will be your defining moment.”
–“Defining Moment” by Newsong

Surrendered living is not for the faint of heart. But contrary to popular belief, surrender is not a dirty word. I happen to believe that surrender is a beautiful word with beautiful results.

I’ve not once ever regretted trusting God with my desires.

Oh, I’ve regretted many times not trusting God with those desires.

I’ve regretted manipulating to take what I want, but I’ve never regretted letting God work.

I’ve regretted fixating on my desires, but I’ve never regretted letting God change my desires. 

I’ve regretted fighting for myself, but I’ve never regretted letting God fight for me.

I’ve regretted taking what I think is good, but I’ve never regretted letting God give me good gifts

And as I look back on the turning points in my life, I can see how each one of them was a crossroads of belief. Would I believe God is good? Would I believe God loved me? Sometimes I faltered. But eventually, God would open my eyes, and when I finally believed that God was enough, I found peace. I found rest. I found joy. 
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Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:23-26

Oh friend, I plead with you – make the effort necessary to open your hands up and let God take what you’ve been holding on to so that He can give you Himself.

He is good.

He loves you.

Let Him provide for you and discover the peace that only He can provide.

You might just be surprised to discover that He really is enough. 
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I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
LAMENTATIONS 3:24