​Until my own recent struggle, I don’t think I realized just how far-reaching fear can become, not only personally, but how my internal fears can begin to affect my relationships in significant ways. I think we’re all guilty of acting in fear in our relationships – I just think we don’t generally notice until it becomes out of control and is seen more in the results of deep depression, desperate behavior, and a pattern of broken relationships.

​It’s often not too difficult to look back and see where we did things the wrong way, acted in fear, and where things got off track. Unfortunately, it’s much harder to fix the problems when we’ve reached that point. It is not, however, impossible. It simply requires much humility and a determination to let God become our focus rather than people, and let love control our actions, not fear. 

We need encouragement. We need help. We need hope.

When we’re overwhelmed, frustrated, tired, and broken, we are tempted to isolate. But it’s in those broken moments that we most need each other. We benefit the most from our relationships when it’s the hardest – when we’re most tempted to give up, close up, or shut down. When we’re vulnerable. When we’re scared. When we’re desperate.  

The pattern in scripture is that when people (or even the nation of Israel) were desperate, they cried out to God. And God sent a man. God sent a woman. God sent a person. And He used that person to help, encourage, and bring about deliverance, both personally and corporately.
​

The True Love Test is very simple and very profound. All you have to do is take the things
1 Corinthians tells us about love, and insert your name. Then ask yourself, is this true of me?
In premarital counseling, it goes further – you insert your fiance’s name, as well, questioning
​if he or she is exhibiting that brand of love toward you, as well.

Here’s what mine would look like:

​A call to full-time ministry is really a call to full-time love.

Sometimes that love is easy to give; sometimes not so much.

Sometimes that love looks like a hug, a smile, and an encouraging comment.

Other times it means saying hard things, and drawing a line in the sand.

But it’s always all about love.

It’s about showing God’s love.

Am I the only one? I don’t think I am. I think some of you do it, too. 

We know the word agape and we know it means sacrificial, but we don’t really connect
the dots beyond that. Sure, it costs. But I think I tend to assume that when it’s agape,
I’ll win in the end. And by win, I mean be loved in return. 

I’m discovering that’s not true.

At least, not in the way I tend to want.