On Thursday, January 6, 2017, my life began to change in a way I’d never experienced and wouldn’t dare to have imagined. My dad underwent surgery that morning, and before he was out of recovery, he went into cardiac arrest in an event unrelated to the procedure.

While he was initially resuscitated, he was put on life-support as the doctors spent 5 days doing everything in their power to keep him alive. However, my dad’s life was not in the doctors’ hands. It was in God’s. And on January 10th, God finally brought my dad home to Heaven.

Those that know me know how close I was with my dad. He was not just my father, but my best friend, my boss, and my Pastor. He was the greatest spiritual influence in my life, and so much of who I am today is because of him, especially in regard to my relationship with God and my passion for ministry.

The days and months that followed his death were the hardest of my life to this point. I’m thankful for the many family and friends who surrounded my mom and me with support, encouragement, and love during that time, even as they were grieving themselves.

I don’t spend much time thinking about that time of my life. It’s still too much to relive, and I don’t want to live in that place. However, there are times when I look back and marvel at how much God brought me through and how much grace I experienced in those days and months.

As I realized that it has now been 5 years since all of this took place, I began to reflect. But instead of dwelling on the experience in the hospital, or in the roller-coaster of life that I went through in the months following, I began to think about some of the things my dad taught me over my life, and how those things helped me get through the enormous trial that God had brought me to that year. 
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The name of my website is “The Surrendered Life.” I actually chose this title less than a month before my dad died. I had no idea at the time I picked this theme that I’d have to live it so fiercely and so soon.

So much of what I learned about the importance, the significance, and the realities of surrendered living I learned from my dad – not just in his teachings, but in his living.

Today, in honor of his 5th anniversary in Heaven, I want to begin a series where I’ll be sharing 5 areas of surrendered living that I learned from my dad in the 26 years that he poured into my life.

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When I look back on my life and the moments that I believe shaped me into who I am today, I have to admit that those moments were some of the most painful experiences of my life. And yet, God used those times of suffering to make me into the person I am today.

We all have moments in life that define us, and unfortunately, they’re often related to suffering of some kind.

As much as we’d like to think that it’s the mountain top experiences that shape us, that’s rarely the case. Rather, God tends to use the valleys of our lives to grow us, to change us, and to make us into the image of Christ, and it’s those very moments that enable us to experience the joy of the mountain top.

The valley is dark, scary, and painful. Sometimes the suffering is a direct result of our own sinful choices. Sometimes it’s the result of the sinful choices of others. And sometimes it is simply the result of living in a fallen world. Regardless of the cause, the way we respond to resistance, pain, and difficulty reveals what we truly believe in the deepest part of us. In those moments, we are faced with some of the hardest questions we will ever face:

Do I really believe God is good?

Do I really believe God loves me?

Do I really believe God is in control?

Do I really believe God is all I need?
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If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you’ve probably heard the saying, “You won’t know God is all you need until God is all you have.”

Unfortunately, it’s a common saying because, for the most part, it’s true. At least, the idea behind it is true. But the phrasing itself lends itself to the idea that you won’t really know if God is enough until you’ve lost everything. And while it’s true that you won’t know it by experience until that point, I’d say that you can know that God is enough before you lose everything. In fact, that’s actually the goal.

If we wait until we experience the loss of what we love to discover if God is enough, we will find that God is not enough. Instead, we must learn how to let God satisfy us in the here and now so that when the times of crisis come, we already know that He will be enough and He will carry us through. Otherwise, when we experience the pain and suffering that is inevitable in life, we will instead turn to ourselves or others to make us feel better, following the path of idolatry we talked about last week.

The fact of the matter is that what you believe in the light is what will be proven in the dark. If you want God to be enough for you then, you must make Him enough now.  
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Asaph doubted God’s goodness when he looked around him. He failed when he compared his life to the lives of others. He became discouraged when he let his emotions fuel his perspective. But when he lifted his eyes to God, he found hope.

When we go through times of pain and suffering, having the right focus is critical. 
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We need to take a step back and see the bigger picture. Not the bigger picture of our circumstances, but the bigger picture of God and who He has proven Himself to be in Scripture and in our own lives. 

Instead of focusing on our circumstances, which constantly change, we need to focus on God, who never changes. Has God been faithful before? He will be faithful again.

​God created us to glorify Him, and He gets glory through being good to us! Our problem is that we tend to forget that God knows more than we do, and so we question His method, forgetting that His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours.
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Instead of expecting God to make us happy, we need to expect God to make us holy – and then we will discover that joy is byproduct of holiness. Unfortunately for us, growth can only come through trials; that’s why Peter wrote that our suffering comes for a purpose:  

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Doubt. Accusations. Isolation.
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How did we get here? 
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A. W. Tozer once said that what we believe about God is the most important thing about us.

Hannah Whitall Smith explained this idea further in her book, The Unselfishness of God, where she wrote:

What we believe about God is the cornerstone in the foundation of our lives. If we believe things that are not true about God, it will affect everything else we think and believe in life; however, when we believe the truth about God, it becomes a beautiful lens through which we can properly see ourselves and the world around us.

There are five major areas of concern when it comes to what we believe about God:  Is God really good?  Does God really love me? Is God really enough for me? Are God’s laws really that important – or even relevant? Is God really in control? 
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I think it’s safe to say that no one intentionally chooses to believe that God is not good, that He is unloving, that He’s not enough for us, that His commands are meaningless, and that He’s not really in control. However, many of us are living as though those things are true. Subtle lies have crept into our thinking and have begun to affect the way we live. Therefore it’s necessary for us to take a step back and look at the evidence in our lives, look at God’s word, and ask Him reveal what’s true about Him and about us.

Our starting point is God’s goodness. If God is not good, everything else in scripture crumbles to pieces. If God is not good, our lives are meaningless. If God is not good, we have no hope in life, or in death. Everything hinges on this one truth of God’s goodness.

Instead of assuming that you already know and believe this truth, I would caution you and challenge you to consider if it’s possible that you have unintentionally fallen into the belief that God isn’t really good – or maybe that He isn’t really good to you.

You may not be in outright rebellion against God, but is it possible you find yourself struggling with resentment in your prayers, or even have stopped praying altogether?

​You may not be openly arguing and accusing God, but is it possible you’re afraid of God – afraid of getting your hopes up, afraid He will hurt you if you ask for what you need and want?
 
You may not be quitting church or Christian fellowship, but is it possible you avoid certain people or topics because you find yourself envious of how God is working in their lives while you feel neglected by God?
 

Luke 1:46-55 records for us Mary's beautiful prayer of thanksgiving to God. In it, she referenced Old Testament scriptures and stories more than a dozen times! This is striking when you consider that Mary was uneducated and likely illiterate. She was not able to read the Scriptures for herself - rather, she listened. And it's obvious that she listened intently, hiding the words of Scripture in her heart. 

If we want to be godly women who can be used God, we must never underestimate the value of God's Word in our lives. Not only do the Scriptures convict us, encourage us, and direct us - they also equip us to pour into the lives of those around us. The more we know the Word of God, the more we can share the word of God. 

I marvel at this aspect of Mary's life, because I so easily give into the temptation to WHINE instead of WORSHIP. And when I consider what makes me whiny, it’s always something so insignificant, especially when compared with what Mary was facing. For me it could be I overslept my alarm, or maybe I was overcharged and have to call the internet company. Sometimes I’m just tired and I don’t feel being nice to someone, yet God has pushed them right in front of me to interact with. And I whine.

Mary faced incredible difficulties – difficulties with her family, with Joseph, with the culture around them. She faced physical difficulties of carrying a child and the childbirth to come – without medication! And she would face many more than she did not even know yet. And she worshiped.

Instead of focusing on our inconvenience, or on our fear, or on our exhaustion, let’s choose to focus on God – let’s choose gratitude for His wonderful acts, His mercy, and for choosing us to be part of His plan to reach those around us.

​Have you ever found yourself struggling to stay focused on the real reason for Easter? It’s so easy to get caught up in the commercialism and the “fun” stuff like candy, egg hunts, and new clothes. ​But even beyond those things, I think it’s easy for us to (unintentionally) lose sight of the deep meaning behind Holy Week, Good Friday, and Resurrection Sunday. 

We recognize that Jesus died, of course. And we know that because Jesus died, we are able to live. But I think we tend to miss the "how" and "why" that connect those two things.

We talk about death being defeated. We talk about Jesus being the true King. We talk about his blood making us clean. But do we really remember why his blood made us clean?

It's not just about Jesus dying. At least, not in the way that we tend to think.

Yes, Jesus died. We just forget why. 

Yes, we know it was for us. But why was it for us?
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